Sunday, April 22, 2012

On The Secret Service Prostitution Scandal

By now you have most likely heard of the incident where U.S. Secret Service agents in Columbia have been entangled in a prostitution scandal. While this seems outrageous to many, consider this:

Prostitution is legal in the part of Columbia when the incident(s) took place.

So they really did not break any laws. If no laws were broken, then nothing immoral took place. However, I do have to admit that it's pretty ghetto not to pay your hoe.

Odin VS Jesus

image credit unknown

The Power Of The Badge

This story from an anonymous source came to me via email:

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this f*****g badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... 

"Your badge, show him your f*****g BADGE........ ! !"

Text and photo credits unknown.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Tennessee To Protect Teachers Who Allow Students To Criticize Evolution And Global Warming In Classrooms

A controversial Tennessee bill that has passed both House and Senate is poised to become law on April 20th, albeit without Governor Bill Haslam's signature. The new law would protect teachers who allow students to deny evolution and climate change. 

I wish lawmakers would instead pass a law mandating the teaching of evolution in churches.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

10-Year Old Girl Gives Birth

If a ten-year old girl is able to get pregnant, but her body (and bone structure) is not ready yet, doesn't that seem a bit of a problem, evolutionarily speaking?

Without a c-section, she surely would have died; her pelvis is not wide enough to allow the passage of a baby. Without modern medicine, therefore, mutations that allow girls as young as ten to ovulate would therefore eventually lead to death, so the genes involved in the mutation would not get passed on to the next generation. But modern medicine allowed her to live, and her descendants may have to deal with a similar problem.

Yes, modern medicine allows countless millions to live in spite of genetic flaws. But without modern medicine, we would surely see a massive die-off of people who have been artificially kept alive by science. Nature has a way to weed out disadvantageous mutations.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Dawn Of The Christ

Posted this comment last night on Pharyngula:

I have the perfect movie title for a Jesus-themed zombie movie….. get ready for it….
Jesus gets out of the tomb on Sunday morning and he bites the Roman soldiers. Then all hell breaks loose…
Pilate now has a major zombie uprising on his hands…what will he do? What CAN he do?
Zombies massacred… the city burns… the written teachings of jesus lost… only fragments survive, and a tale of resurrection surfaces in greek texts decades later….
… a nosy tourist visiting the Vatican finds a relic, a fragment of the cross… and accidentally cuts himself on an iron nail embedded in it… first the headache, then the fever… then vomiting and seizures… then respiratory failure…
White sclera eyes suddenly open… a loud growl resonates.
(c) copyright 2012 by The Gun-Toting Atheist

 The most awesome response this comment got was from NigelTheBold:
Now the tardigrades have completed their successful run of Hello, Dolly, they have expressed interest in your script. Do you think it could be easily turned into a musical theatrical production? Also, could it be moved to, say, 1900-era New York? We already have all these costumes, see.
Also, for practical reasons, can it take place as a water ballet?

Friday, April 6, 2012

Imagine a world without guns PART III

News from Hungary... yet another example of how crazy killers do not need guns to perpetrate their murder sprees. Sometimes they just use swords.

We do not need more gun control. We do not need sword control. We need to do a better job at proactively identifying crazies and giving them the mental health treatment they need... before the snap.

Easter Is Even Creepier than Halloween.

Never mind that Good Friday is about watching a guy on TV getting whipped and crucified by Roman soldiers, but when the Easter Bunny comes around on Sunday morning, expect the kids to be creeped out.

Lock and load, hunters, it's rabbit season!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Follow The Gun-Toting Atheist On Twitter

I know I complain about how a certain 'book of faces' is a useless website aimed at providing data-mining services to the intelligence community, but I genuinely feel that Twitter is different. Twitter allows you to obtain real-time information about different news topics, and I actually figured out how useful it was today. You see, I was about to embark on a roadtrip to go to a live show tonight... but a twitter update from the band this morning to the effect that their show was cancelled saved me from going on a disappointing roundtrip. So I gave it a lot of thought, and decided that I would now have a Twitter presence, question of attracting more readers to this blog... well isn't that the point of Twitter?

Follow @GunAtheist on Twitter!