Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Is Rick Santorum an undercover Democratic operative?

It baffles the mind that Rick Santorum actually has a shot at becoming the GOP nominee. What's interesting is that in spite of that, he is very unelectable because of his social hyper-conservative views. He simply has no chance against an incumbent president... so here's my crackpot theory of the day:

Rick Santorum is a deep-cover liberal operative whose purpose is to win the GOP nomination, and to then, through a well-orchestrated series of planned blunders, intentionally screw up so badly that President Obama will be easily re-elected.

Assuming that you intend on voting for Obama in the November election, how can you participate and make sure that Santorum is the guaranteed-to-lose GOP candidate running against Obama? Register as a Republican and go vote for Santorum in the GOP primary. As I have mentioned before, Obama is guaranteed to defeat Santorum, should they run against each other.

A vote for Santorum in the primary election is a vote for Obama in the general election.

Monday, February 27, 2012

A non-psychic prediction

I do not need to use my finely-tuned psychic abilities, nor do I need to consult the Oracle of Delphi to make the following prediction:

If Rick Santorum runs against President Obama, Santorum will lose.

If somehow history proves me wrong on this prediction, please do call me an idiot. I will then publicly admit my infinite stupidity and convert to a religion of your choice, dear readers.

Just don't hold your breath.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Ron Paul on the Second Amendment

'The Second amendment is not about hunting deer or keeping a pistol in your nightstand. It is not about protecting oneself against common criminals. It is about preventing tyranny. The Founders knew that unarmed citizens would never be able to overthrow a tyrannical government as they did. They envisioned government as a servant, not a master, of the American people. The muskets they used against the British Army were the assault rifles of the time. It is practical, rather than alarmist, to understand that unarmed citizens cannot be secure in their freedoms. It's convenient for gun banners to dismiss this argument by saying "That could never happen here, this is America"- but history shows that only vigilant people can keep government under control. By banning certain weapons today, we may plant the seeds for tyranny to flourish ten, thirty, or fifty years from now. Tortured interpretations of the Second amendment cannot change the fact that both the letter of the amendment itself and the legislative history conclusively show that the Founders intended ordinary citizens to be armed. The notion that the Second amendment confers rights only upon organized state-run militias is preposterous; the amendment is meaningless unless it protects the gun rights of individuals.'
-Dr. Ron Paul

I slightly disagree with Ron Paul on the idea that it's 'not about keeping a pistol in your nightstand', because I believe that self-defense is a basic human right, and having the tools necessary to defend yourself and others should be allowed, regardless of what the constitution says. It doesn't matter what the text of the Second Amendment says. You have a right to live, so by extension, you have a right to defend yourself, and by extension of that, you have a right to be armed for that purpose. As I heard someone say recently "You can't carry a cop in your pocket".

Thomas Jefferson said "The constitutions of most of our States assert that all power is inherent in the people; ...that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed."

Architecture of a Police State

Architecture of a police state: A step-by-step transition from democracy to tyranny

1. Under the guise of fighting crime and terrorism, impose strict gun control.
2. Offer free services and programs to make the people dependent on the state.
3. Under the guise of economic bailouts, nationalize private businesses.
4. Under the guise of fighting foreign wars, ramp-up military industrial production and recruiting.
5. Under the guise of fighting crime and ensuring national security, institute domestic surveillance of communications and computer systems.
6. Under the guise of modernism, phase out cash in favor of electronic money, which can be tracked digitally.
7. Under the guise of morality, censor the web and nationalize the media. Ban books. Institute a propaganda department and nationalize education.
8. Under the guise of standardization, institute a national ID card to replace all other forms of ID.
9. Under the guise of fighting drugs, establish curfews, checkpoints and roadblocks and institute warrantless searches.
10. Under the guise of cost-cutting, centralize government.
11. Merge the executive, legislative and judiciary branches of government.
12. Abolish habeas corpus.
13. Abolish the bill of rights.
14. Arrest all political adversaries and crush dissenters by force of arms.
15. Impose a state religion and burn all unbelievers at the stake.
16. Sit on your fat ass in a marble bathtub with gold fixtures and watch the bubbles boil to the surface when you fart. You did it! You're the King!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Should we change the national anthem based on who the President is?

I've had some ideas for a new national anthem, but the final choice would be dependent on who wins the 2012 presidential election.

Barack Obama: God Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols

Rick Santorum: Last Caress by The Misfits

Mitt Romney: Master of Puppets by Metallica

Ron Paul: F*ck Authority by Pennywise

Newt Gingrich: We're Not Gonna Take it by Twisted Sister

Any third party or independent candidate: Born to Lose by Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers

and if she decides to run:

Sarah Palin: Basket Case by Green Day

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Sometimes Low-Tech is better Part III

Another example of why technological advances can be bad for you.

US special agent Jaime Zapata was killed by gang members when the doors to his armored SUV automatically unlocked after he placed the transmission into park. This 'convenience feature' was meant as a way to make the lives of lazy Americans soccer moms easier, by automatically unlocking their doors for them. Apparently, the engineers did not take into consideration the possibility that violent individuals might be surrounding the vehicle.


Time to delete Megadeth songs from your iTunes library

Dave Mustaine, frontman of heavy metal band Megadeth, and former member of Metallica (they kicked him out in the early 80's), is endorsing Rick Santorum for President. This is a bit shocking, but nothing about Santorum supporters seems normal anyway. In response, I'm calling for a boycott of Megadeth. Shouldn't be too hard, there are much better bands out there; take your pick. The bottom line is, Santorum gives me the creeps. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I get a bad vibe from that man. He's such a .... politician. So much that should Santorum win the GOP nomination, instead of writing in Ron Paul next November, I will definitely be voting for Obama, just to make super duper sure that Santorum is not elected President. That's how much Santorum scares me.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Is anyone reading this?

Is anyone reading this? Anyone besides the FBI? (HI FELLAS!) :-)

I didn't think so. Damn.

I must be even less interesting than I thought.

It's not everyday that a genius such as myself comes along, and dares to defy convention by shattering left-right stereotypes and blending libertarianism with progressivism, and I must say, I think I am ahead of my time. I am a visionary, and the world is not ready for me. Too smart for my own good, such is the curse of mine. Google analytics is showing some rather strange stats.

Perhaps I just write about crap people don't care to read about.

Maybe I should write about how Siri has the potential to become Skynet.

Maybe I should write about my cat.

Maybe I should write about the super hot girl with a perfect body that goes to my gym.

Maybe I should just ask her out. I am way hotter than her fat-ass boyfriend.

Maybe I should write about the same things everyone already watched on CNN.

Why do I bother with this blog?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The booze police state

Apparently I have to be treated like a common criminal and show ID when I want to buy alcohol. Thank you, government, for protecting me from myself, what would I do without you? Mind you, I am quite flattered when a cute 18-year-old cashier asks for my ID, this means I still look hot and young enough to be able to date women her age, which is awesome, and good for my self-esteem. Or maybe she is just trying to memorize my street address, in which case I have a hot stalker. Sweet. But the fact that this is a government-mandated verification is annoying. I can brew my own beer in my kitchen with just barley, hops and water, and maybe I should stick to that instead of submitting myself to the obnoxious ID verification ritual. If this were Canada, they probably wouldn't even ask for my ID, because the drinking age is still 18 over there, and they really don't care that much about enforcing it. The Prohibition was arguably the stupidest, most idiotic thing any government in the history of humanity has ever done. It was more retarded than the god-damn Spanish Inquisition. I should be able to buy beer without showing ID. I don't give a crap if your stupid 16-year old kids are going to drink and crash their POS car into a tree. To hell with your stupid kids; I just want to buy some god-damn beer without being treated like an Auschwitz inmate. What the hell do you think is going to happen if -god forbid- I get my hands on a six-pack of Sam Adams Boston Lager without -gasp!- showing ID? Is the whole world going to come to a fiery end? Get over yourselves, and I hope you trip and fall from your stupid moral high ground and break your weakling little legs, you fools! It's just bloody beer, for crying out loud. I really, really, really want to use the f-word right now. God! I SO want to use that stupid word right now.

Yes, I know, I am currently breaking two of my new year's resolutions, the first one being 'no more angry rants', and the other one being 'no more drinking and blogging' but it's so god-damn cathartic to write about what happened two hours ago at the store that I am giving myself a free pass.

We as a people cannot be free until we can buy beer without having to prove that we have the right to. AHHH I really want to end this with the F-word followed by YOU! But I'm not going to because I can at least keep some F-WORD-ing resolutions.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Big Brother Chasing Himself

It's one thing when public security cameras are used to spy on everyday innocent people. And it's one thing when cameras are used to track ill-intentioned suspects. It's quite another thing when a cop uses a security camera to chase after... himself.


This does remind me of a dog chasing after his own tail, and for that reason this brave crime fighter earns our first-ever fool of the week award. Congratulations!

Analyzing a possible hoax

A video recently surfaced, allegedly of a siberian woolly mammoth, crossing a river. If authentic, this is extremely exciting, as the species is thought to have gone extinct four thousand years ago. However, several things about this video raise suspicion:

1. The video is less than 10 seconds long. Why did the videographer stop filming after 10 seconds?
2. Why is the video so blurry? What kind of crap camera was he using? Could you even buy a camera this crappy in 2011, when this was supposedly filmed?
3. The person who posted the video, Michael Cohen, has been previously been associated with suspicious UFO-related material.
4. If the video was shot in the summer of 2011 as claimed, why did it surface just now in the age of YouTube and social media?
5. Could it be, as has been proposed, a video showing a bear holding a salmon in its mouth, which is so blurry that it resembles a mammoth with a trunk when viewed from afar?
6. I understand that Siberia is an enormous stretch of land... but finding a large mammal species that is supposed to be extinct is still doubtful... someone would surely have found more of them at some point in the past... animals the size of elephants don't hide easily.


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

On Syria

I took the side of non-intervention during the NATO involvement in Libya. My fear was to have the US be bogged down in yet another un-winnable, costly ground war that would cause yet another people to hate us for occupying their land. In the end, I was surprised that the US did not send ground troops and actually allowed the Libyan people have their own uprising. I was a bit appalled at the way an angry mob tortured and killed Gaddaffi instead of arresting him - as I am opposed to the death penalty as a rule - but in the end, the Libyan people were free, and the US emerged 'not the bad guy', a refreshing outcome.

What is currently going on in Syria is indeed troubling. I think a nice gesture would be for the US government and its allies to airdrop supplies and weapons into towns and villages to aid Syrian rebels. I'm thinking crates full of M-4 rifles with the words "A gift from the free people of the United States of America to the free people of Syria. May the right of the people to keep and bear arms never be infringed" stamped on them. Let the people of Syria be armed and rise up against their malevolent dictator. Of course, the CIA is probably already doing such a thing, right? History will tell.

This is rare occasion where I actually agree with Senator McCain, who recently said that we should arm the protesters. State Department spokesperson Victoria Nuland responded we don’t think more arms into Syria is the answer," but I disagree with that. In this case, more arms is the answer. Too bad Syria doesn't recognize the right to keep and bear arms. Let that be a lesson for all.