Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fixing the Catholic Church

In light of ongoing sex abuse scandals involving the Catholic Church, several people have been advancing possible solutions.

One solution would be to end the practice of clerical celibacy. Advocates of this solution argue that sexual abstinence causes frustration and psychological problems that lead to sexual dysfunction. Coupled with the fact that priests often have unmonitored access to children, and that sexual abuse within that organization seem to be ignored by its leadership, this turns the Church into a safe haven for pedophiles. Allowing priests to marry, it is explained, would do a few things. Among them, having a wife would give sexually dysfunctional priests a healthy outlet for their sexual expression. Also, the church would no longer offer the same appeal for pedophiles experiencing religious shame for their dysfunction, and thus would reduce the number of pedophiles within the ranks of the priesthood.

A better solution, I argue, is to simply shut it down. That's right; abolish the Catholic Church. Close shop. Out of business. There can be no pedophile priests if there are no more priests. Problem solved. And millions of Protestants worldwide will rejoice as Martin Luther's dream of reformation is finally fulfilled.

Sell its assets and give the money to stem cell researchers. This is a perfect opportunity to finish it off. Two thousand years of inquisitions (NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! :) ) , two thousand years of witch hunts, two thousand years of child abuse, now finally coming to an end.