Monday, December 27, 2010

How to put an end to Christmas terrorist plots

A few days ago, nine men were arrested in the UK for plotting terrorist bombings scheduled for Christmas.

A year ago, an 'underwear bomber' set fire to his genitals trying to detonate a bomb on a plane, on Christmas Day.

This is a disturbing trend. Why are muslim terrorists trying to schedule their plots for Christmas?

Maybe they hate Christmas. Maybe they were once raped by Santa Claus. Maybe they were molested by a Catholic Priest on Christmas eve. Who knows.


Stop celebrating Christmas. If everybody stops celebrating this holiday, then it will lose significance for the terrorists.... and they'll schedule their bombings on random dates instead, just to keep us on our toes.... hmm maybe it's not such a good idea after all... it's actually kind of nice to have a ballpark idea of when they intend to strike.

Oh! I know! Next year, let's pretend we still care about celebrating Christmas, only we won't! That way we'll know when they're going to strike, only we won't be there! That'll take them by surprise... imagine this fictitious conversation:

"Hey Umar, where's everybody at? I thought you said it was Christmas today?" 
"It is. Maybe they just want to stay home and lay low this year."
"Damn you Umar! We are screwed and our visas have expired! Ah, just forget it. Let's go turn ourselves in."*

*results may vary.

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